So I have messed up dreams...which I tend to always remember as soon as I wake up so I'm doing an early blog so I can do this one justice :). So in my dream I'm looking after my satanistic half brother Jack. Satanistic why you ask? Well many things but when I had a broken foot he deliberately stamped with both feet on it...likes to call me fat ass or fat bitch and likes to tell my mum that his dad will kill her...so lovely child as I was saying...I was looking after him and being the good sister I am I decided to take him swimming but being satanistic Jack he was too much hard work but a nice life guard said he will look out for him if I want to go home...so I did haha obviously in my dream it is totally normal to leave a child with a strange man who could be a paedophile...anyyywayyy I walk home and then start chilling out with my friend Laura - who is the epitomy of awesomness and will be a big feature in my blogs :p - when suddenly a car pulled up outside which was full of my mum and her family (all psychopaths who I don't speak to any more so have no idea why I dreamed about them!) they were shouting at me to come out but me and Laura hid hahaha but then my mum just came through the door! Laura didn't bloody lock it did she lol then I woke up...so thanks Laura you could have killed or maimed me in my dream :P
When I have strange dreams I tend to be in a weird haze in the mornings so I got up had my shower, let the Pug out and made us both breakfast. I was watching Hogan as he was eating his smelly food realising that's why his breath stank so bad, the trouble is you can only get dog toothpaste that tastes like chicken or something else that doesn't smell good. So I decided if I made dog toothpaste I would make a chocolate mint flavoured toothpaste so the dogs breath would be nice and fresh but they would also like it in their mouths...but then I decided I wanted chocolate mint toothpaste and wondered why nobody had invented this before! By then my Special K has done its magic and I wake up out of my strange haze, but as I'm sat at my desk at work I still think I'm on to a winner with this toothpaste thing, Dragon's Den here I come!!! :D
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